vexenort: cumsquats: *cracks an egg on my head* *a lemon falls out* What a time to be alive what the fuck does this post even mean
ser-merlin-of-valyria: e—www: benedictedcumberbabeof221: mighty-thor-of-assgard: danniauttumns: ser-merlin-of-valyria: tumblr has fallen david karp is dead yahoo is coming your second sentence only has 5 syllables. Haiku fail. Though… they all do have 5, poem pass, haiku fail. it wasn’t a haiku, it was a harry potter reference: “the ministry has fallen scrimgeour is...
textpoops: foreveralone-lyguy: hitlervevo: im like 500% sure that those yahoo people are going to get on tumblr and read posts about people shipping clothes and obama fanfiction and bad puns and get convinced that we are meth addicts and are gonna call the police how the hell do you ship clothes You put them in a box, put someone’s address on the box, and take the box to the post office
ejacutastic: darthfadedd: ejacutastic: when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko Until you start blowing it. Then it’s not so weird, bucko. i gave a guy two blowjobs last weekend it’s still fuckin weird ok get off your high horse
fuckyeahloldemort: i dont even use tumblr anymore tumblr uses me
dirty cute: slightestwind: Anonymous asked:... →
slightestwind: Anonymous asked: prompt! first time Blaine sees Kurt sleeping in fully naked. (aka the first time Blaine sees Kurt’s butt, during the summer between s2 and s3. PG-13.) (klaine firsts prompt meme) “Blaine,” Burt says after he opens the door and lets Blaine in, and…
youarefuckingmajestic: REMEMBER, IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE LEAVING THE HOUSE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PYJAMAS. STAY COMFORTABLE, YOU DESERVE IT, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD
profoak: vaspim: this whole notion that guys who wear pink are suddenly feminine is so ridiculous. women aren’t portrayed as manly if they wear blue??? it reminds me of this quote i once read by gwen sharp, “Femininity is depicted as weakness, the sapping of strength, yet masculinity is so fragile that apparently even the slightest brush with the feminine destroys it.” the ironic part is...
snow-angel-castiel: aangnog: probend: PE is 5% exorcise and 95% embarrassment what kind of gym class do you have that exorcises their kids
tyl3rwyl3r: strider69: so my friend told me today, “you’re not forever alone, you’re forever available” and i just This is so much better it’s ridiculous.
iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou: ‘All the women in Doctor Who fall in love with the Doctor’ 1. No they don’t 2. Just the women?
mebeingweird: bondoge: do u ever listen to a song and u like forget ur listening to it and when it’s almost over ur just like what and then u repeat the song but then it happens again
dooblerdoo: whenever I create a text post
thepacosanchezz: my favorite show is sherlock starring bonkadonk clamberdouche and morgan freeman
iliasmemory: when im on my death bed i will probably say something really dumb as my last words like i would say something like “poo poo pee pee” and laugh to myself and then just die and that would be it
sacaswagea: immergerd: sacaswagea: “if ur ready CUM and get it” haha only 18+ will get this one. :PPP I’m younger than eighteen and I get the joke. Btw, you’re really only supposed to use numbers instead of spelling out the word after one hundred. Or, to be grammatically correct, 100. You’re eighteen, you should know this. is this real life
telescopical: rosiebeck: nxv: primisthebomb: I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid I threw a grape in the air I went to...
Me: *Has Social Issues*
Teachers: You're being irrational. Get off the internet for two seconds and realize that.
People at School: You're ridiculous. Stop going on your computer so much and maybe you'll be healthier.
Parents: It's all the internet's fault. It's the root of all evil.
Society: See everyone? The internet is destroying our children.
Internet: You had an anxiety attack today? OMFG ARE YOU OKAY??!!! DO YOU WANT A COOKIE??!! Or would you rather be left alone? How can I help you!??? I WISH I COULD MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
Everyone: See, the internet is evil.
Everyone: Now stop with all of your problems or we'll punish you.
If other planets switched places with the Moon,...
humanvolunteerforce: did-you-kno: This is the Moon. But imagine for a second that the Moon switched places with other planets. This is what you would see (subject to staying alive, of course): Mars: Venus: Uranus: Neptune: Saturn: Jupiter: Gallifrey:
patrick-stump-hand: pizzaswag: abandoned theme parks look rad as fuck someone go explore one with me you are the first five minutes of supernatural
lalalafrickyou: bloody-nips: i’m watching Extreme Couponing and i just saw a woman rack up a charge of over $1000 and then her coupon game was so fucking raw by the end of it the store owed her $8. what the fuck “her coupon game was so fuckin raw” is basically the best string of words ever concocted
lynzave: geezjenner: lynzave: I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA COVERED IN ECTOPLASM AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once I was a C...